Sunday, September 06, 2009

Sad News

We are no longer expecting a baby. I found out Friday morning that the baby didn't have a heartbeat. I passed the baby Friday night and am feeling good. I have had bits of bleeding for about three weeks now. I went in twice and the baby was fine both times. I had more bleeding and some cramping Thursday night. At that point I just knew inside that it was over. So I wasn't surprised Friday morning.

Even though I am sad, I feel at peace. Looking back at Friday (which was crazy because it was Thomas's birthday, which included bringing cupcakes to the classroom and throwing a birthday party) I see so many 'tender mercies'...small blessings from Heavenly Father that made a big difference to me. I feel certain that Heavenly Father is aware of me, my feelings, and my needs.

On a happier note, here are a few pictures from the past few weeks...

Thomas at school on his first day of Kindergarten!
Uncle Jake and the boys on Nicholas' birthday. I love how they are looking at Jake like, "How does he get those muscles to pop out of there?"

Showing the big rocks they are going to throw into the stream. You have got to love Essie's tie-died onsie and three-sizes-too-big tap shoes!
Nicholas' birthday party. Some of the boys getting ready to have an airplane throwing contest.

Yum!
Happy 4th birthday my sweet sweet Nicholas!

13 comments:

bloodfamily said...

I am so sad to hear of the passing of your baby. I too lost one right before I had Brandon. It's hard to swallow, but I'm glad that you are doing well. I have to say that you the best photographer, and I really enjoy your pictures of your kids. My thoughts are with you.

Monica Hudson said...

Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry. Having been there myself I can honestly say I feel for you. You're in my thoughts...if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask - I'm happy to help, even if it just means an afternoon to yourself. Lots of love, Monica

Rachael said...

I am so sorry Jen!

Mary said...

Oh darn it, Jen... I am so sad to hear this. I was so excited for a fourth little Berry. I am so sorry. I love these pictures of your kids.

the remkes family said...

my thoughts are with you and i am glad that you are able to find peace.you are a strong person, i admire you:)

Kara and Cody Markham said...

Hey Jen, I LOVE YOU!! I hope things are going well!!!!

Heart Mommy said...

Dang, That is such sad news. I just sat and cried for you. We just lost a much loved and wanted little one a couple months ago. It just plain sucks. Moving each day farther away from the sadness helps heal our hearts a little. I hope Daddy is doing well and you are getting back on your feet after feeling yucky. I can't find your email..
Oh, we love you guys. If you have questions or want someone to chat with I would be happy to.

julie said...

I am so sorry, and know how it feels. Please let me know if there is ANYTHING you need. our thoughts and prayers are with you. That little one is still yours.

JP said...

Oh my gosh Jen! I'm so sorry that happened. I'm glad you feel at peace. I'm thinking of you...
Keep the great pics coming!

Jim said...

Oh, Jen, I am so sorry for your loss. Take care.
~karin

lance said...

Oh Jen, I am so sorry. I haven't ever had a miscarriage myself, but I do know the pain behind wanting to start or increase your family and finding it is not always as easy as it would seem. So at the loss of such a precious little one my heart just aches, and I am so sorry you have to go through that. It is no picnic, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

We love you. Take care of yourself.

carrie r. said...

I am sad to read this. I am truly sorry for your loss, but I am glad you are able to find some peace in the midst of your pain. I hope you heal quickly and feel better soon!

idahomayos said...

I'm sorry...no words seem right...just know that I am thinking of you and admire your Faith and am grateful for the peace you feel from that.