Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Eleanor Anne

This post is long overdue.  For some reason it is overwhelming for me to sit down to write about the birth of my children.  It is probably because it is an event filled with some of the strongest emotions I will ever feel and I just don't have the ability to adequately express those emotions in words.  I am stop trying so hard to capture the emotions and just write down the events.  

This labor was SO FRUSTRATING!!!  It really began on Friday and I didn't deliver sweet Eleanor until Wednesday morning!  Friday I had been having regular contractions all day.  I contract a lot while pregnant, so I didn't think much of it.  That night I was up quite a bit because the contractions were interrupting my sleep.  By Saturday afternoon they had increased in intensity and had been coming every 2 minutes for a few hours, so we decided it was time to head to the hospital.  As soon as I got there and got hooked up to the monitor, they basically stopped.  After an hour of really lousy, not regular contractions I asked if I could go home.  I was only dilated to a 4, so they said I could.

Sunday and Monday were pretty uneventful.  I was so emotionally exhausted from the experience of going to the hospital thinking I was coming home with my sweet baby in my arms, feeling so embarrassed to have the contractions stop, feeling like I disappointed my other children by getting them excited to meet their sister...I needed a few days to recover.  I took things REALLY easy Sunday and Monday.  I was still contracting regularly, but I knew they weren't strong enough to be making any progress.  

Tuesday I was more active and by that evening things seemed to be happening.  I was determined not to have another false alarm, so I didn't say anything to Jackson.  We went to sleep (well he did...I lay in bed dozing between contractions).  By 2 or 3 in the morning I felt like things were picking up, so I woke Jackson up.  We called his parents.  They came over and we left for the hospital.  We got there, got hooked up to the monitor...and the stinking contractions stopped again!!!!!  I was incredibly frustrated, ultimately embarrassed, and downright exhausted.  I swear there is some reaction between me and the hospital that makes my labor halt.  I really do hate being in the hospital and don't feel comfortable there at all.  As soon as we got back in the car to drive home, the contractions started strong again.  We decided not to wake Jackson's parents again.  We went to their house and used their spare bed for the rest of the night.  Jackson slept a bit, but I couldn't sleep at all.  

When morning finally came, among other things I took a walk around the block to see what would happen.  The labor quickly progressed to serious business and we went straight to the hospital.  I really go fast when I hit that last stage of labor, so I wasn't going to wait around at all.  It was a good thing I didn't, because when we got there I was already dilated to a 9.  When the nurse told me that I knew deep down that this was going to be another natural birth.  I knew there wasn't time for any medication.  Even though I knew, I REALLY wanted it bad!  I was so traumatized by Alexander's birth that I was terrified to do it again.  I asked them to please try to get the epidural.  They gave it their best shot!  My sweet doctor personally ran and got the anesthesiologist.  He was there, needle in hand, ready to bring me sweet relief.  The only thing standing in the way was the silly IV.  For some reason, during those last 10 to 20 minutes of labor before I deliver, my blood pressure plummets.  They could not get the dang IV in.  They stuck me over and over and just couldn't get it.  While they were still trying, it became time to push, so we gave up and got down to business.  

I was so scared.  I never use profanity, or even think it, but for some reason swear words started flashing through my mind.  I said out loud, "I think I am going to swear!"  The nurses smiled and told me just do it.  I thought about it for a second and then said, "NO!  I'm not going to."  Then a big contraction came and I screamed, "OH CRUUUUUUD!!!!!"  The nurses thought that was funny and later that day I heard them recounting that story in the hall.

The actual delivery was easier than Alexander's.  I didn't panic as much.  With Alexander I was scared for how it was going to feel to actually push him out.  I thought it would be so awful to feel the rip.  I almost didn't want to push because I was afraid.  This time, I knew that I was already feeling as much pain as I was going to feel and the faster I got her out of there, the sooner I was going to feel better.  I totally went for it and it only took two or three really strong pushes and her head was out.  Once her head was out my doctor asked me to stop pushing.  Then, I didn't know why, but later they explained that the cord was wrapped twice around her neck.  My pushing was tightening the cord.  It was so tight that the doctor couldn't get a finger under it to pull it off, so he clamped and cut it.  She was blue just like Alexander and it took them a while to get her breathing well.  I think her throat hurt, because she didn't ever cry or make a sound for about three days.  She also had broken blood vessels in both eyes from the pressure.  

It really didn't take long and they had her all rosy pink again.  I was so glad to have been in a hospital with a great doctor who knew how to get that cord off and fabulous nurses with great equipment to revive my sweet Eleanor.  One great thing about natural birth is that the recovery for me is so much faster!  

The kids were able to come to meet her later that day.  We all love her so much and are so happy to have our sweet sweet Eleanor with us!

I don't like the coloring in the next picture and I couldn't figure out how to fix it, but it was the only picture I got of the burst blood vessels in her eyes.


Ashley Beth said...

Oh my, that post brought tears to my eyes. Her birth story sounds very similar to mine with Emily, only I was actually able to get a small amount of a mild pain killer right before she was born. Bless your heart for being so brave and strong! I love these photos, especially the one with the box of LIFE cereal on the bed. Seems utterly appropriate! Thank you for sharing this precious story, it made me smile through the happy tears. I cherish a good birth story.

Hope you are all adjusting well. Let's get together soon!

mary said...

Jen, I laughed so much at your swearing story. And I never had false labor until my fourth baby, and man is it frustrating and embarrassing to get sent home from the hospital!! You'd think after so many babies you'd know what is going on, but honestly, it's a new experience every time! But Eleanor is absolutely adorably sweet, and your newborns always have such awesome crazy hair! Enjoy her.